Impulsive Responses Agitate Fire

I think everyone deals with opposition some point in his or her life. This includes dealing with difficult people (to be nice). What is the best way to deal with difficult people or a difficult person? For example, how does one go about dealing with people they know are being bias or jerks to him or her or someone they care about, underestimating his or her intelligence, etc… Arguing with them is one way. But will this put out the flame that has developed from all of the conflict? Probably not, but maybe. Such confrontation can raise the conflict, making it more difficult for the victim and perhaps everyone else, even those not included in whatever debacle that is occurring. Facing whoever is causing the conflict can create more negativity, which can cause the victim to feel worse. Ignoring it is not always a solution either.

If the victim of insults or whatever words and/or actions causing the conflict, makes it known she/he is aware of these then goes about his or her business without letting the conflict become a distraction can help progress beyond the conflict. Forgiving, or not even forgiving, but acting rationally and treating even the biggest of assholes decently, can prevent hurting oneself and others. The victim doesn’t have to have anything to do with these people creating negativity, they don’t have to believe what they say and/or do, but they do not need to respond with more negativity either. If I am full from consuming sugar, eating more is only going to make me feel worse. If I am stumbling over my own feet drunk, drinking more is not doing my coordination or liver any good.

There are many examples in fiction of how the wrong reaction to negativity results in more negativity: from Gollum taking the ring to Harry Potter becoming so angry that he used the Unforgivable Curse in the fifth book of the “Harry Potter ” series. Consequences would come in the sixth book for Harry Potter, and those who have read the books or watched the movie know about these. Harry Dresden in the third book of the”Dresden Files”series, and Agent Mulder in “The Xfiles” both take many risks through impulsive responses that lead to consequences, which make their viewers and readers wonder how they will escape, and if they do how they’ll redeem themselves. Readers and viewers are afraid the characters’ consequences will get them hurt, killed, or turned evil. Stories like these can be a good thing because they create character and story arc. But in real life these characters’ reactions and consequences can be a lesson. Through these characters, people can see a demonstration of how reactions to negativity can bring on more pain and stress for them and others, and agitate the situation instead of extinguishing it.



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